Resolutions and Solutions

January. New year, new beginnings, new goals. Most of those goals will shed their urgency quickly, abandoned and jilted like shoes along the interstate. One goal many will be endeavoring upon in 2012 will be the oft-trodden road to better health and ideal weight. So what should women’s football teams resolutions be this preseason? I suggest just those.

Part of being a healthy team is being a financially sound one. In my conversations and observation of women’s football, I notice a good deal of people who complain about their team’s finances (or their own) and very few who act in response to those mired accounts. It’s really a simple plan–the first step towards being healthy involves following a steady diet, and in our case, that means regular and varied fundraisers, and individual sponsorship solicitation.

Fundraising is like cardio: if you don’t do it, your heart and lungs won’t be at their best. The most vital of processes a team can perform is fundraising. And like cardio, the more the better. Running one time won’t intercede for one’s health or weight. It has to be a regular activity. During the season, fundraising will be hard to fit in, so restrict such to pre and post-game style events like autograph signings (with merchandise for sale), bar appearances, and the like. Two fundraisers a month during the preseason is bare minimum to operation. The off-season should be far more hefty an event schedule. Try mixing up your workouts, with endurance and sprint work–longer-running fundraising like selling a product and selling raffle tickets should be used in concert with events like celebrity bartending, date auctions, golf tournaments, or car washes.

Sponsorship-seeking might be the most underachieved action in all of women’s sports. I can already hear your spines prickling up. “Are you saying I’m not trying?” Yes I am. If you, as an individual player, haven’t donned your nicest, most business-like attire, and personally set foot in four different businesses this season (full color sponsorship packet in hand), you haven’t tried. Even in this economy, advertising and a unique affiliation is a tempting offer for businesses, especially small businesses in earshot of your home stadium. Look for companies that are busy, and companies offering coupons. Coupon advertising is quite expensive, and the companies that utilize it are often interested in bringing in a high volume and are aware of the cost/discount relationship. They will be most open-minded about website advertising and game-day announcements (think: spend money to make money, the foundation of advertising). Furthermore, having an autographed picture of a women’s football player in their store will generate a lot of interest. “Wow, did you sponsor this team/player?” “Why yes, I helped that woman change history.” Maybe an exaggeration of what that owner will say, but the point is, it’s a conversation starter, and conversation is a client bond-building tactic like no other.

Line up your best reps for high-dollar sponsors.

“What else can I do?” Good, I see you’ve sheathed your defensive weaponry. Smile, shake their hand, speak the King’s English. Slang is not the way to an entrepreneur’s checkbook. Avoid any type of swearing, even in a joke. Remember: when seeking sponsors, it’s not your job to promote any particular cause or group aside from your team and the league (if you don’t play for the Yankees don’t wear your hat at the business). Maintain eye contact, and show gratitude even if you don’t get the sponsorship. If you’re prepared with a business card, no matter how simple that card is, you could get a call or email back in a few days with a renewed interest. This happens often, as businesses unfamiliar with women’s football do a little research about the sport and league and suddenly feel better about investing in our future. Regarding that card, a stack of 300 can cost you as little as $5 on a website. Include the team’s name and website, the league’s name and website, and of course, your contact information. Adding your position and a picture is always a nice touch. At the end of the day, you have to take ownership of the financial well-being of your team. There’s no reason a player can’t offer something in addition to the teams’ standard sponsor reward packages. Just make sure you can effectuate those promises. I like to add on an autographed copy of a picture of me, or ad space on my blog. Even if it ends up costing you a few dollars, hundreds in sponsorship capital and the appreciation of your team makes it well worth it.

That’s a lot of work for the individual players…what should team owners and boards be doing to assist in our diet and fitness goals? How about offering some healthy options on your menu? Make sure your sponsorship packages are diverse. If the only difference between a $500 sponsor and a $1000 sponsor is a t-shirt, you probably won’t make the sale. Think about incentives for higher dollar sponsors by using what you have control over: your social media and gameday. Product costs money, but Facebook posts, tweets, and gameday activites can be shifted to feature their business with little to no cost at all. Often them a larger or more frequently appearing web ad, or tweet in higher volume for bigger sponsors. Offer a halftime or pregame event featuring their product or owners (think of a funny game or a throwing contest their staff could participate in). Gameday is all about entertaining your audience, so why not entertain your sponsors at the same time? Custom jerseys, season tickets, logoed t-shirts and plaques should be reserved for your highest dollar sponsors, as their cost can jump quickly.

Another way owners can aid their players is by setting up or accompanying sponsor meetings. Two well-dressed team representatives is always better than one. This is a task suited best for teams with boards and larger front offices, as it can be arduous to make calls and do research on your players’ behalf.

Fundraising should be both frequent and diverse to increase player and fan attendance, like our Halloween Bowling Event this year.

We’re eating better, but we still need to do something to get into peak shape, so what’s next? How about some strength training? Revamp your team’s website. If you’re carrying a 20-person plus roster (and my God I hope you are), you probably have someone competent in web design on your team. Offer them a reduced sponsorship to do a little site maintenance. Showing a professional and aesthetic website to a sponsor greatly increases your chances of landing their business. I just spent the better part of three months creating a flash website (and an accompanying Apple-friendly mobile site) with custom graphics and user-friendly layouts. You don’t have to go that far, but make sure it’s easy to read and has some fun features for fans and sponsors to utilize. Consider featuring individual player bios each week to generate a personal connection for those viewers (think: putting a face to a name). If you market to the fans, you are also marketing to businesses, because they’re also potential fans! Please don’t forget to spell check, and get the opinions of several players to make sure you haven’t crossed into the lines of cheesy or strange (“Girl Power” went out of style with the Spice Girls). Promote the product over the particulars: professional tackle football during the NFL/NCAA drought…which just so happens to be played by women. Lastly, if you don’t have a Facebook, Twitter or Youtube, set it up now. It doesn’t matter where you’re located or how long you’ve been around, social media reaches more people than any other form of promotion.

Now we’re really getting into shape, and we’re the envy of the neighborhood. Maybe that resolution was too easy! If you want to be the fittest team in the conference, opt for non-profit status. Being a 501(c) non-profit is easier than you think, and can have huge benefits. As an owner, you have to be prepared to walk away from the Kraft mentality that your women’s team can be a Fortune 500 company. We’re not there yet as a sport. For now, making sure we’re covering our costs and improving our product is paramount. Non-profit paperwork can be filed by any legal representative, and will allow people to donate to your team as a tax write-off. If you live in the city or a wealthy suburb, you will appeal to high-dollar private individuals easily. After many years in Palm Beach, one of the wealthiest zip codes on earth, and several years working with the ultra-wealthy at an elite private country club, I can say first hand that the affluent in our midst are always looking for a new cause. I don’t much worry about their reasons, the item of importance is that they are always reaching in their pockets for charity and interest groups. We are both: women supporting women, athletes supporting athletes. Consider launching your new non-profit status at a local charity event or the opening of a hospital, etc. This will expose your cause as well as show your interest in your community.

It will be tiring, it will be difficult. But once you’re healthy and fit, everything works and feels better. A healthy body will make you more confidant, more able, and more popular. No one ever said your efforts will produce the Situation’s abs (or a championship for that matter), but you’ll definitely get the attention you deserve, and live a hell of a lot longer.

The Wins and Losses

The Palm Beach Punishers football program has been suffering the past few weeks. Not with the pang of an on-field defeat or the throbbing of an injury. We’ve been afflicted, but in a much more profound and permanent way. We’ve had to say goodbye to a dear friend, veteran lineman and special teams star Patty Lahman.

I won’t be discussing the circumstances of her untimely departure from this world. It is a mere footnote in comparison to the acts of kindness, bravery, and love she endeavored upon in her life. And I cannot venture to discuss her life before I met her on the gridiron. What I can do is show you the teammate she was and the impact she had on Palm Beach’s franchise–the players, coaches, fans, sponsors, and myself.

#41 in her favorite attire

Patty was one of those rare motivators: captain material. When we trained she always went hard. In the weightroom, she pushed me to do workouts I’d scarce attempted for their difficulty and intensity, even in High School football and college lacrosse training. When we were sprinting, doing crossfit, or hitting the tackling dummies, she made everyone else look paltry. Which is perfect: in fear of appearing obsolete or ineffectual, Patty made each one of us work harder.

She’d take on any position asked of her, and never complained about playing time; she was an absolute endangered species in a world of blame and self-entitlement. Unlucky with injuries, Patty would always approach physical therapy like she approached practices: an opportunity to improve physically. She always came back stronger than before, and always put a hurt on me when tackling practice came around (excuses like “I need to kick field goals” didn’t hold up against her).

Working hard(er)

My favorite memory of Patty isn’t the beers we shared, the laughs we had, or the deep conversations about where to take our program or handle internal disputes. It was the middle of an especially intense practice, and I was frustrated over a mistake and threw my helmet to the ground. As a young player, I was embattled: haunted by near-misses and disasterous team experiences in my past, I could never be perfect enough to meet my own expectations. I was also hunched with the weight of perceived lack of respect from my team. I wanted to be the best, and be approached as such. Patty called me out; though the exact words are now lost in the sands of time, the jist of it was “stop complaining, work harder, never worry what they think–just show them what they ought to”.

I can’t lie, it was put in much harsher terms. But at that point in my career, getting through to me was harder than getting James Harrison to hug Roger Goodell. Patty was one of the sweetest, most affable people I’ve ever met. But she was mercilessly dedicated to seeing her team and herself succeed.

I know that moving to Arizona was impossibly hard for her–we often heard from our estranged teammate at key points last year: before games, during a tough patch of team conflict, or after a hard-earned string of victories in the face of massive internal and external criticism. Patty was thrilled to return to Florida, and the team was elated to have her back. Her positive energy electrified our off-season, and even rookies connected with her in their brief encounters.

Patty is survived by her husband and three wonderful kids, all part of the Punisher family.

Always ready to help others and an understanding ear to their troubles, Patty is just another example that only the good die young. Her power will illuminate our locker room forever, and her kindness and strength will bolster our hearts even longer.

One team, one dream, one family. Rest in peace, Patty Lahman #41: wife, mother, sister, teammate, inspiration.

The Visitor’s Bench

Every team has a home bench. Whether it sits inside of a million dollar facility, a dingy high school fieldhouse, or beside a snow-glazed Alaskan pond, home is where the starting line-up is. We all love to perform in our own house. The crowd is (normally) friendly, the view familiar, and the potholes and loose planks are our secret allies.

But what about away games? Is a victory on foreign soil less filling, less palatable? How hard is it to raise your arms in accomplishment when you’re worried about what will be thrown at you?

Unfamiliar ground can feel terribly parched and rocky, even when the field is two blocks from home. The same can be said for the Punishers and I, as we shed the shoulder pads for the Lynn Lewis Foundation‘s flag football tournament this past weekend. Benefiting breast cancer research and family aid, the Lynn Lewis Foundation has been coordinating contact flag football tourneys for 4 years.

Not every match was a friendly one.

Yes, I said contact. Now, in my 8 years of tackle football experience, and several more years of flag football involvement, I’ve become accustomed to one of two possibilities. You hit, or you don’t hit. There’s never been a middle ground. Contact flag is just that: somewhere in between the bone-crunching violence of our favorite past-time and the ever-restrictive touchlessness of flag rules.

With my black and white  football thinking, I had a hard time hitting without wrapping up, evading without stiff-arming, and blocking without cut-blocking. Needless to say, I secured my fair share of penalties. Without so much as an hour of practice or one flag-specific drawn play, we were grossly unprepared for the assault that was to come. New York, DC, Atlanta, and Pittsburgh were all present, and boasting lineups of professional flag and tackle talent, including gold medalists both from my Team USA roster, and the USA Flag team. Many of the programs have been participating in National and World Championships for 10+ years.

The Lynn Lewis tourney was an exceptional recruiting endeavor.

Everyone played a minimum of 5 games throughout Saturday and Sunday morning, and more importantly, everyone was secured a place at the Pink Party, which took place at Club Safari. I don’t think my feet have ever felt so relieved to be in heels as they were that day, as my cleats betrayed me in every way imaginable. The truly remarkable aspect of contact flag was the toll it was taking on people. Every few minutes it seemed there was another body down on a field, and the hour-long games didn’t seem to ever complete without at least two players being dragged to the sideline. We suffered several casualties: one Punisher played through her games unaware of her three broken ribs and punctured lung, and another was hauled off via ambulance to the hospital for a knee injury (we’re still awaiting the results). I managed to escape with a hateful, quarter-sized blister, a shinner, and some pulled muscles and bruises. Our coach was so alarmed by the walking wounded that he’s considering issuing a fatwa that would cease the existence of all Punisher “extracurricular” sports endeavors.

Though I didn't miss getting hit, I sure missed defending myself!

Even though the event was in our backyard (Palm Beach Gardens), it felt like we were miles away from our comfort zone. We, tackle football die-hards, were visitors to contact flag football’s isolated stadium. The Women’s American Flag Football Federation, the governing body of women’s 8-on-8 contact flag competition in the USA, houses hundreds of teams and leagues throughout the country. Though less systematized than women’s tackle (specific scheduling, playoffs), contact flag is a healthy and functioning body of the women’s football world. The International Women’s Flag Football Association, which sponsors play throughout 9 different countries, hosts a series of tournaments and has been around since 1997. My complete naivete of contact flag’s intricate existence is proof that underground tunnels (like women’s tackle football) are not always connected.

It was eye-opening to spend time in another budding sport’s home, and we certainly resembled the battered away bench in comparison to the well-trained and adept “home” teams. But despite our own casualties, we were saving lives. When one participates in events like these, it’s really symbolic of what we–despite our team colors and home stadiums–are willing to do for one another. Outside the pylons, it’s all about people helping people, forging hope, and making the world a little less bleak. The view from the visitor’s bench is different, but at the buzzer’s sound, we all got to be part of the same great game.

Mission 2012 begins!

Statistically Speaking

We are what we eat. Bananas, radishes, buffalo chicken. No, you’re not morphing shapes every time you take a bite, but your health will be determined by what you put in…such is the scientific and mathematical explanation for our output. Input value is essential. However, if you were Jacques Derrida, or some other philosopher, and you didn’t think within the parameters of arithmetic logic, you might say “perception is reality”. In other words, we are what we see.

It’s a shallow concept: evaluating ourselves and one another based solely on physical appearance. But truthfully, we are all guilty. I don’t mean to become so deeply engrained in discussions of society’s narcissism. I’m trying to make a point to everyone in the women’s football world. Whether you’re a gameday manager, a team owner, or the president of the league, we have a serious problem. Our statistics are repulsive, and we’re being judged by them.

All you have to do is go to the IWFL’s website, and look at the stats per team.  As soon as you see that the Carolina Phoenix had 136 interception touchdowns in 2011 you’ll have the same reaction I did. “What the *&%$ is this?” Unless Darelle Revis AND Antonio Cromartie spent the offseason playing in the IWFL, that statistic is light years off base. And I don’t plan on hacking the server to figure out if it is a software glitch or human error. It’s much more than that little oversight…it’s the widespread lack of stat reporting and recording all across the world of women’s football.

Many of my talented teammates have missed out on All-Star appearances due to the invisilibilty of their stats to league reps.

Before we can analyze a solution for our horrendous appearance, we have to find the reason.

1. Our clothes are mismatched: is that because we were tired when we woke up? Translation: we were so busy trying to get everyone’s uniforms, gear, and paperwork sent in that we forgot to hire a stat guy.

2. Our face is breaking out: did we forget to take our makeup off last night? Translation: we were in such a rush to get to bed (or the bar) on Saturday night we didn’t send in our stats.

3. Our hair looks scary: should we have avoided that new salon? Translation: we hired a stat guy, went to send it in, and realized it was totally wrong  (the girl with the broken leg on the sideline probably DIDN’T have 2 fumble recoveries and a 50 yard punt).

4. Last but not least: we only look this bad because our “friend” put Nair in our shampoo – Translation: the OTHER team was supposed to report them, but they didn’t/screwed it all up.

It can be very challenging to find capable stat teams. But one good option is simply hiring extra officials. Most officials are familiar enough with the game to take good stats. You can often pay a couple of assistant coaches from your home stadium’s varsity team also (they are grossly underpaid and have less work in the late spring and early summer). Remember: the more the merrier when it comes to the press box. Good stat keepers and spotters make the announcer’s job easier, which leads to a better gameday presentation.

It’s also a struggle to afford statisticians if you’re a small market/low budget team. So my suggestion is this: have an extra fundraiser, or stop wasting everyone’s time. As harsh as it sounds, making an extra $500 is as easy as picking up another player or selling some discount cards. If small market teams aren’t willing or able to make their season happen in a way that befits the image of our league (and that of our goals and mission), then they have no business attempting to field a team. Having a developmental/practice team would be an option for those in such dire straits.

Lastly, if you’re going to do your stats yourself via film, avoid distractions. Giving the wrong player a touchdown won’t just make someone angry, it could cost them an appearance in the All-American game, or cause them to lose a sponsor.

Some come on people, have some pride in yourself. Brush your hair, take a shower, and don’t wear white after Labor Day (or is it Memorial Day?). Because even if we train hard, put on nice clean uniforms, and give our website swagger, the minute Rick Reilly heads to the WFA’s stat page and sees top teams who haven’t reported all their games, he’s going to roll his eyes and go back to his Netflix queue. So owners, hire someone decent. Sideline managers, go look over his shoulder for a few plays. And league staff, start playing hardball with stat reporting. We need to look professional to be taken seriously, because perception is reality…even if you’ve eaten all your greens.

Hydra-nomics

Mythology is a curious mechanism. Though stories of beasts, heroes, and gods are rarely rooted in fact, they serve as a looking glass for our world. When gazing at that which we cannot understand, attaching explanations and meanings can give us the peace of mind we’re seeking. In our case, as a dull and news-less offseason leaves us itching for excitement, we can examine our sport’s odd and somewhat ghastly image.

The second of Hercules’ 12 labors included a mythical beast known as the Hydra. It possessed 9 heads, and each time a head was severed, two more grew in its place. Hercules asked for the help of his nephew Iolaus, who cauterized each stump before the heads could restore themselves. The final head was immortal, and Hercules buried it under a large boulder.

We should be wary of sword-wielding heroes; we too are a Hydra. Although we (the WFA and IWFL) aren’t causing much destruction. With two fearsome heads, rowed with teeth and crowded with ideas, we’re struggling to even walk. Highly different opinions and directions mean we’re splitting at the shoulders.

The Hydra was a harrowing and dangerous foe. In our case, we’re the ones at risk. The NFL season is on, so a pressure has been lifted off of us. There will be no scramble for fall airtime; we can rest assured our Sundays are spent on the couch. Still, as that weight is alleviated, a sort of dread has replaced it. “What if?”

If the WFA and IWFL had gone head to head (pun intended) with fall Sunday line-ups and battled for airtime, would there be any survivors? The sports media and networks suits might have been so perplexed by our lack of unity we’d likely have been laughed out of the room. With the mega-success of the NFL, no one can mention a two-league football community with a straight face.

Let’s examine the kind of fire the twin heads have been spouting in the last two months.

The IWFL is making a lot of waves by picking up new teams at a velocious pace. The Akansas Banshees take the field in 2012, and are already taking digs at the three-team owners and Texas-based Little Rock Wildcats’ regime, by calling the Banshees a “locally owned” team aiming to serve the players’ needs. The Arlington Impact joins a crowded Texas field. Anyone familiar with the Texas landscape knows the proximity to the Dallas Diamonds and Lone Star Mustangs, but it seems the rules are different when one is tapping the veins of the competitions’ teams. Phoenix, Arizona joins a growing desert lineup with their Phantoms (how they play in 100+ degree summer heat is beyond me).

A big story is the first team to jump ship from the WFA: the Northeastern Nitro. The Nitro brings the IWFL a much-missed foothold in New York state, as the team relocates. The Connecticut Wreckers have erected a team in the void of the Nitro. Knowing the IWFL’s new-found disregard for team stability, this could all mean very little. Same season births and folds are not unheard of (like the Georgia Stingerz). The North Texas Knockouts and Desert Fire Cats should be saying their last rites, as they head to the WSFL (Spring League), where IWFL teams seem to go to die. On another note, the logos for the inbound IWFL teams are diminishing in quality. There are talks of the partnership with the graphic design company responsible for such logos as ours (Palm Beach) and the Tuscon Monsoon, coming to an end. The IWFL did pick up a new videographer (visit Jeffpower.tv), but the wheels of their media bandwagon continue to spin in the dirt.

Perhaps if we had a common "foe" we could find a way to work together.

The WFA’s lineup has seen a few changes as well. The Derby City Dynamite are setting up shop in the Louisville, Kentucky area in the wake of defunct Louisville Belles, Nightmare, and the Kentucky Karma. Stability in Kentucky has been hard to come by, so wishful thinking is in order. The former So Cal Scorpions have found new life in the West Coast Lightning. Packed with veterans and sporting a handsome logo and Flash-driven site, it’s nice to see one of the oldest franchises in the country back in business. The Atlanta area is becoming confusingly avian, as the Atlanta Heartbreakers have become the Atlanta Phoenix, as the Atlanta Ravens and Carolina Phoenix are both flapping wings in the IWFL. There is also an unconfirmed rumor that the Southern Tier Spitfire (Binghamton, NY) are attempting to restart their franchise, though it seems unlikely, consider the 9+ months of Twitter silence and lack of a website.

The WFA’s recent Sports Illustrated coverage is a boon to the media blitz the league been making the last 6 months.

The small, flagging tertiary head that I mentioned previously (WSFL), rarely makes my headlines. I have no confidence in the quality of their ranks, or their ability to complete even a half season of football, though they have increased their membership to “21″. The odds of even 8 of these teams hosting actual games this season is highly unlikely. Sadly, the fact that the Spring League remains operational is a further hindrance to the unification and legitimization of our sport.

In Greek mythology, Jason also killed a Hydra. Perhaps he and Hercules’ powers combined could defeat our lurid visage. Were we reborn with one head, a stalwart frame, and legs moving in the same direction, perhaps then our sport would move forward.

SEASON ENDING REPORT CARD:

• IWFL – C+
• WFA – B
• WSFL – D-

Together we’re barely passing, but there’s still time to make improvements. Stay tuned for more monsters of women’s football–forfeiture and statistics–and how they contributed to the leagues’ grades.

Birth of the Titan

It’s been said that much triumph has been founded in innovation. Those that think unconventionally are rewarded greatly–they streamline our world, challenge our convictions, and turn our heads in new directions. The geniuses that pieced together our Ipods, taught our TVs to record live shows, and gave our trucks 24 MPG’s are the envies of society.

Yet not all curiosity is created equal. In the case of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, there is a line that technology and innovation are not supposed to cross. For argument’s sake, let’s call it “non-traditional” development. And sometimes that radical, unpopular idea changes the lives and morals of an entire generation. But sometimes, our masterpiece invention turns it’s electricity on us, and we’re left frying in a basement, the monster not coming to life at all, and all that grave robbing was for nothing.

Regarding the WFA Championship, which took place a shade over two weeks ago, allow me to first state the obvious (and equally laudable) truths: Boston was explosive and electrifying. Their offensive line manhandled the Surge’s hefty defensive front, and their speed in the backfield and secondary was insupposable. But the Surge had the talent to, at the very least, make a much closer contest of it. At times, it seemed that the Surge could score at will. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen a passing offense so dangerous, due in part to USA gold medalist QB Gallegos (3), no stranger to deep throws and quick reads, and her two sensational receivers Javelet (11) and Cruz (81). San Diego’s defense held up most of the game, though they were worn down by the Militia’s Zelee (33), a running back with few equals in the league, and Alison Cahill (7), a quarterback so fast and coordinated, I thought I was watching an NCAA men’s game. Bonds (80) terrorized the Surge receivers all night from safety. But if you need a legitimate retelling of the game, head to James Wyatts’ Surge Examiner rundown or Boston’s rendition.

Zelee's all-around dominance meant no cease-fire for the Surge. Pictured here over San Diego's Tracy Wong (Barry Millman).

No, the real story of how Boston immortalized themselves with a second straight title is one of the unusual interpretation of how 4th down choices affect field position. San Diego refused to punt. Even when inside their own 20 yard line, the ball was heaved up for grabs by Gallegos, plagued by a furious Militia blitz. The crowd was amazed: shouts of “let the punter play” and “wake up, coach” were fogging the air. Wild rumors of an injured punter and a long snapper behind bars began swirling, but the truth ended up being stranger than fiction.

San Diego’s coaches decided that because of their own punting problems (an average of 18 yards on 3 punts early this season–if the stats are to be trusted) and a bastardized interpretation of the league’s punting averages, the Surge was better off going for it on 4th down than putting it on a foot. Let me say this: obviously it worked all year for them (10-0 heading into the championship game) and it helped to amass 1764 passing yards, 2nd in the league. Even when their choice began costing them points, it would be preposterous to imagine abandoning the mantra of your entire season in the final game. And who’s to say it would have been different? After all, Boston is Boston, and they were every bit as impressive as I expected them to be. But with two touchdowns scored off of short fields (inside San Diego’s 40) following 4th down prayers, one can’t help but think what could have been.

If it's a dynasty we wanted, we have one.

Needless to say, the failure of Madden-esque football is only a sidebar compared to the dynasty that has been rooted in Boston. Though their 2010 championship came in the IWFL, Boston antecedes a new era in women’s football, the fully professional era. I’m not saying girls are making a paycheck–I’ve heard rumors, but that’s unverified (though the $25,000 WFA Championship prize package will help). What they do have is a promotion powerhouse, making waves in one of the biggest sports markets on earth. They’ve also got a massive roster, an excellent coaching staff, and an affluent owner capable of generating the big-time sponsors (as well as judiciously selected local companies) that the Militia has come to know and love. What talented football player wouldn’t want to be part of a financially sound, successful, and marketable team like that? Welcome the Diamonds of the 2010′s…Boston is here to stay. Will they be able to grab 2 more rings in 3 years?

I only rehash this two weeks later to make a point. As I put together the season-ending report (stay tuned), it’s very clear that women’s football is an innovative, brave (and highly non-traditional) endeavor. We are all mad scientists, but collectively we are a monster–a two-headed one at that. San Diego’s Frankensteinian 4th down football failed to make it off the table, and we too have to reconsider where we got all of our parts, unless we want to have a similar fate. For now, consider the elements of a successful business.

“Hydra-Nomics”, the season-ending report, is next…

Best Coast, Beast Coast

I love a cold, crisp beer, appreciate a vine-ripened tomato, and cherish the full flavor of fresh clams while dining along a Floridian waterway. They are flavors packed with refreshment, satisfaction, and luxury. But if they were all together in one can, I just might never eat again. Yet Budweiser has decided to do just that in their Budweiser + Clamato beverage, completing the classy affair with a tall boy-sized can packaging.

It wasn’t until huddled amidst a group of the WFA’s finest in a gas station in Beford, Texas, that I first laid eyes on the monstrosity, and it set me thinking about All-Star/All-American experiences. You can take so many excellent players, with athleticism, prowess, knowledge and explosiveness and put them together with remarkable effectiveness. Those flavors can combine to create a once in a lifetime gallery of aptitude and efficacy, such as the 2010 Team USA, as our games more resembled clinics at times.

But you can also get Clamato. Separately functional moving parts, like a tall, athletic West Coast quarterback and an impressively-sized, farm-strong linewoman that just can’t seem to link up. The All-American concept is one of great happenstance. With only one two-hour practice together and often years of contempt and conflict between players of rival teams (especially when one considers the fresh wounds of the playoffs) the proper cocktail must be carefully conceived.

The occasion was both intense and festive, but we have a lot to do if we want to raise the profit line.

You don’t just need talent, statistics, and notoriety within your players. In order to have a successful, entertaining, and intense (i.e. Non-Pro Bowl-esque) All-Star experience, you need as follows: decent attendance (affordable hotels and a hosting city with signs of life help), team-oriented players, and coaches that can see past the logo on the helmets.

It seems we had all of those on Saturday morning, for when we stepped onto the sizzling Texas turf field, both teams were more than prepared for their game, which streamed live online. Though the low score had much to do with rush-first play calling and defensive domination, it also had much to do with the expected offensive miscues and receiver/QB unfamiliarity.

The game ended 13-6 National Conference, but it also ended something else: fear that football All-Star events have to be ghastly. All you need is a little more love for the game and a little less money changing hands. The All-Am was full of punishing stiff arms, mid-air collisions, and quarterbacks being smashed (only punters and place-kickers were safe from the melee–great news for me)!

For those of you unaware or confused, the National Conference is basically the Eastern Conference, featuring teams like Boston, New York (x2), DC, Cincinnati, and New Orleans. The American Conference is–you guessed it–the Western Conference, with notable teams like San Diego, KC, Houston, and Arizona. A league associate informed me that while the WFA would like to get away from the NBA model of things (East/West–the conference names proves this optimism), more teams are needed to alleviate the travel burden to attain the NFL model (AFC & NFC, each with Eastern, etc. divisions). For now the coasts can enjoy their hip-hop style rivalry.

The teams with the most to show off were the New York Sharks (Running back Odessa Jenkins was able to provide some exciting holes), the Jacksonville Dixie Blues (defensive lineman Ellea Gilbert was a force to be reckoned with), Columbus Comets (whose attendance was furthered by the selection of their coaching staff), and the St. Louis Slam (though quarterback Liz Lacy had a hard time getting her receivers on point, she was solid and upbeat). Western Michigan Mayhem was the surprise story, sending 4 into the All-American game and impressing everyone (linebacker Plummer dished out some of the biggest hits of the day, while she and lineman Kim Ford were standouts in the combine).

On the American side, strong representation came from the Dallas Diamonds, KC Tribe (Am. Conference award winner Jenny Schmidt linked up with perennial endzone companion Liz Sowers), and the Bay Area bandits (linebacker LaStar Brown stole the show). The Pacific Warriors and the Central Cal War Angels were the surprise teams, landing several girls each in the game despite their fly-under-the-radar statuses in the league.

Palm Beach snuck two All-Americans into the star-studded affair. Myself with Coach Patterson of Columbus and Palm Beach RB Becca Hargreaves.

Attendance for the All-Am game needs to improve. The product was quality and the prices were fair ($10 for one game, $15 for two), but heavier promotions around the Dallas/Bedford area are requisite. I didn’t see a single sign outside of the event. If there’s one thing the IWFL can teach the WFA, it’s that localized advertising works…from recruiting local businesses to carry your championship flyer to dressing your vehicles with promotional wraps, they had the right idea with buzz-making. Hence last years record-breaking attendance for the Boston-Sacramento beatdown. The WFA’s epic showdown between San Diego and Boston was in front of only around 500 fans (many of them players). When your stadium seats 12,000 people, it can feel very anti-climactic.

Still, our nose is in the air, and we’re sniffing in the right direction. My football hunger was met with satiation, and my palette remains excited for the next course. Unless of course, that course features clams in a can.

The Right Combine-nation

We may not have had ESPN watching, but there was still something at stake. Yes, at the first annual women’s football combine hosted by the WFA, the beginning of legitimized inter-team recruiting hung in the balance. What is that, you ask? The birth of the trade.

No, I doubt the winners will field phone calls and contract offers, but quantifying players’ capabilities by athletic standards as opposed to just tackles and touchdowns means generating visibility and value. Since so many team owners are present for this weekend’s festivities, they are bound to stumble upon the results of the combine’s events, and as teams like San Diego and Boston proved this year, another team’s best player is just one phone call away.

The events were somewhat predictable, but nothing short of challenging. Add to that the presence of an angry sun, and you get 103 degrees of hard work. 40 yard dash, an agility test, bench press, push up contest, sit up contest, vertical leap, and a beastly obstacle course made for quite a test.

Despite the thrill of the competition, the mood remained light and enjoyable. There is something to be said about the kind of people that attend All-star/All-American weekends. They aren’t just great
players, they are typically great people as well. The friendliest, most fun-loving of the football world are drawn to an event which focuses more on the camaraderie of the game than the combat of the gridiron.

That being said, I suspect today’s All-American game will be nothing short of intense. After last night’s two-hour practice (complete with full contact), I expect to take a few shots as I gear up for the National Conference. Stay tuned for coverage of the game as well as more on tonight’s Championship match-up.

Legends of the Summer

“At last, my love has come along.”

Only six remain in the hunt for history. Though footnotes in the sports media’s annals at present, this season could prove to be monumental in the progress of women’s football on the national stage.

The Boston Militia roll into Dallas confidant and hungry. As they prepare to defend their title, they have the comfort of knowing they’ve done it all before. Most of the Militia are reported to be injury-free, so their massive 59-woman roster will be a sight to see (I would be shocked if more than four girls no show). Add to that 8 All-Americans, and 4 Gold Medalists, and you have one of the scariest rosters in the league.

Don’t get me wrong–I didn’t expect to see them in the Ship, but after battering the Chicago Force, the far-and-away favorite for this season, I simply can’t avoid picking them.

As much as I love the Surge's story, I can't bet against the champs.

That being said–if there is anyone in the league that can beat them, it’s San Diego. A true underdog story (and a success of modern marketing/recruiting), the upstart Surge has to be the sentimental favorite around the country, but they are by no means a meek challenger. 10 players over 230 pounds (including 3 over 300) make them one of the largest teams in the country up front. And they just-so-happen to boast the 2nd scoring-est offense in the league.

“My lonely days are over.”

This game will be very close, and probably high scoring. Either way, I would be stunned if it doesn’t end up being one of the best football games I’ve ever seen.

Meanwhile, on the IWFL, the Tier I and II stages are set. Though there were far less contending for the twin crowns, and the Tier II competition came from the same divisions as I, both games should be fairly entertaining.

I’m very nervous about my original Championship pick. As much as I admire the Ravens and their enviable history, the California Quake has been punching people out all year. They manhandled the Wisconsin Warriors after a cross-country hike, and I suspect they will come into Round Rock guns hot. In the end, I will bet against my instincts here and take the statistical favorite. The X-factor of finances could be part of why Atlanta pulls it off (after a costly trip across the US, the Quake may have trouble with the Championship price tag).

Atlanta should have just enough footing to survive the Quake.

The Tier II match-up is much more difficult to predict. These teams have never faced each other before, so there’s no history between them. I’m impressed by the way Seattle fared against Tier I teams like Portland (including a 12-6 OT loss) and Sacramento (15-0). New England has also looked fairly good this year, and has been a traditionally solid team throughout their existence. Statistics reporting in this league is…inconsistent…so it’s hard for me to give a solid run-down of the team. What I do know is Seattle has speed and power in the skill positions, and New England has a pretty tough pair of lines and a lot of veterans. Expect a close game with some surprises.

The speed of Seattle will challenge New England's intensity.

On a technical note, I hope all teams will aspire to the website quality that San Diego, Boston, and the Quake are displaying. Function, aesthetics, and ease of navigation are all superb. We’re taking steps towards history, so everything helps.

“And life is like a song.”

Unclaimed Fortunes

In every corner of our world there are the unexpected victors; the underdogs, the statistic beaters, the playmakers. It’s the incalculable ability to defy expectation that makes people a lot of money in the world of betting. There could be some big odds beaters after last’s nights WFA games, but I’d say the biggest winner is the women’s football community as a whole.

I was speechless when I saw the scoreboard this morning. KC–upset in Dallas. Chicago–beat up at home by the defending champs. Jacksonville–dominated in their house by an unlikely Indy Crash. Only San Diego managed to keep it together. I expected a close one out of the Tribe and Diamonds, but Dallas hanging on speaks volumes about their maturity, especially on defense.

Picking between Dallas and San Diego gives me chills. Frankly, at this point, I don’t have a clue. Boston is obviously on a mission to remind everyone that they are who they say they are. We all liked the Force to win it all, and the conqueror of that Goliath is a fast favorite to beat Indy and go to Dallas at the end of the month. You may as well flip a coin to pick these last two games, but know this: if Dallas makes it to the championship, I imagine they will hoist the trophy playing on their “home” turf (it is Lone Star’s stadium, but still).

What all of this really means is that women’s football is no longer the story of the haves and have-nots. Make your case for a lack of parallelism in both leagues, but it is vital to the success of our game for the “any given Sunday” mantra to ring true. In order for our sport to be marketable, it must be watchable…and what is more watchable than a 10-point favorite going down at home in the playoffs?

Playmakers make all the difference. Big time defense could pave the way for a Dallas hometown Championship appearance.

That, my friends, is good television. The games weren’t on last night, but they should have been. I ended up having to flip between 1999 episodes of “Everybody Loves Raymond” and “World’s Worst Weather”. Imagine if there had been a marquee football showdown on ESPN 2. Who wouldn’t watch a tough, unpredictable, passionate Dallas defense going big to defeat an offensive powerhouse, or witness a first-year Indy Crash earn the right to be mentioned with some of the greatest teams in women’s football history?

Now the powers that be in the sports media world can understand that our sport is both competitive and entertaining. So I challenge you WFA: let’s have an equally shocking and down to the wire finale to our season, because the more waves we make, the more likely someone important gets doused.