I love a cold, crisp beer, appreciate a vine-ripened tomato, and cherish the full flavor of fresh clams while dining along a Floridian waterway. They are flavors packed with refreshment, satisfaction, and luxury. But if they were all together in one can, I just might never eat again. Yet Budweiser has decided to do just that in their Budweiser + Clamato beverage, completing the classy affair with a tall boy-sized can packaging.
It wasn’t until huddled amidst a group of the WFA’s finest in a gas station in Beford, Texas, that I first laid eyes on the monstrosity, and it set me thinking about All-Star/All-American experiences. You can take so many excellent players, with athleticism, prowess, knowledge and explosiveness and put them together with remarkable effectiveness. Those flavors can combine to create a once in a lifetime gallery of aptitude and efficacy, such as the 2010 Team USA, as our games more resembled clinics at times.
But you can also get Clamato. Separately functional moving parts, like a tall, athletic West Coast quarterback and an impressively-sized, farm-strong linewoman that just can’t seem to link up. The All-American concept is one of great happenstance. With only one two-hour practice together and often years of contempt and conflict between players of rival teams (especially when one considers the fresh wounds of the playoffs) the proper cocktail must be carefully conceived.
The occasion was both intense and festive, but we have a lot to do if we want to raise the profit line.
You don’t just need talent, statistics, and notoriety within your players. In order to have a successful, entertaining, and intense (i.e. Non-Pro Bowl-esque) All-Star experience, you need as follows: decent attendance (affordable hotels and a hosting city with signs of life help), team-oriented players, and coaches that can see past the logo on the helmets.
It seems we had all of those on Saturday morning, for when we stepped onto the sizzling Texas turf field, both teams were more than prepared for their game, which streamed live online. Though the low score had much to do with rush-first play calling and defensive domination, it also had much to do with the expected offensive miscues and receiver/QB unfamiliarity.
The game ended 13-6 National Conference, but it also ended something else: fear that football All-Star events have to be ghastly. All you need is a little more love for the game and a little less money changing hands. The All-Am was full of punishing stiff arms, mid-air collisions, and quarterbacks being smashed (only punters and place-kickers were safe from the melee–great news for me)!
For those of you unaware or confused, the National Conference is basically the Eastern Conference, featuring teams like Boston, New York (x2), DC, Cincinnati, and New Orleans. The American Conference is–you guessed it–the Western Conference, with notable teams like San Diego, KC, Houston, and Arizona. A league associate informed me that while the WFA would like to get away from the NBA model of things (East/West–the conference names proves this optimism), more teams are needed to alleviate the travel burden to attain the NFL model (AFC & NFC, each with Eastern, etc. divisions). For now the coasts can enjoy their hip-hop style rivalry.
The teams with the most to show off were the New York Sharks (Running back Odessa Jenkins was able to provide some exciting holes), the Jacksonville Dixie Blues (defensive lineman Ellea Gilbert was a force to be reckoned with), Columbus Comets (whose attendance was furthered by the selection of their coaching staff), and the St. Louis Slam (though quarterback Liz Lacy had a hard time getting her receivers on point, she was solid and upbeat). Western Michigan Mayhem was the surprise story, sending 4 into the All-American game and impressing everyone (linebacker Plummer dished out some of the biggest hits of the day, while she and lineman Kim Ford were standouts in the combine).
On the American side, strong representation came from the Dallas Diamonds, KC Tribe (Am. Conference award winner Jenny Schmidt linked up with perennial endzone companion Liz Sowers), and the Bay Area bandits (linebacker LaStar Brown stole the show). The Pacific Warriors and the Central Cal War Angels were the surprise teams, landing several girls each in the game despite their fly-under-the-radar statuses in the league.
Palm Beach snuck two All-Americans into the star-studded affair. Myself with Coach Patterson of Columbus and Palm Beach RB Becca Hargreaves.
Attendance for the All-Am game needs to improve. The product was quality and the prices were fair ($10 for one game, $15 for two), but heavier promotions around the Dallas/Bedford area are requisite. I didn’t see a single sign outside of the event. If there’s one thing the IWFL can teach the WFA, it’s that localized advertising works…from recruiting local businesses to carry your championship flyer to dressing your vehicles with promotional wraps, they had the right idea with buzz-making. Hence last years record-breaking attendance for the Boston-Sacramento beatdown. The WFA’s epic showdown between San Diego and Boston was in front of only around 500 fans (many of them players). When your stadium seats 12,000 people, it can feel very anti-climactic.
Still, our nose is in the air, and we’re sniffing in the right direction. My football hunger was met with satiation, and my palette remains excited for the next course. Unless of course, that course features clams in a can.
